Rejection. It sucks but it happens. Every day we experience rejection on some level. The small things being the dog not coming back when called or the bunny trying to hop out of your arms (thank you Violet). The bigger things being applications for jobs and mortgages, friendships and relationships. Which when you think about it is a lot of rejection to experience and most of the time we take it in our stride, maybe after a few tears. On top of these everyday things I believe we constantly reject ourselves but on a subconscious level. I don’t look good, I’m having a bad hair/skin/face day, I’m fat and nothing fits, I’m not clever enough etc. Well I do anyway and it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
At the moment it’s about my physical fitness and appearance, constantly thinking I’m not quite where I want to be but finding it very hard to get motivated. And yes, I want to be skinnier (not model skinny, just what’s right for me). Not because I want to look like a model but because I want to feel good about myself and have that confidence I miss (you know the one, early 20’s, do what you want, where you want, when you want). Of course I want to be fit and healthy too but it appears body image (how I want to see myself not how other people want to see me) is my number one priority, my motivation. I believe if I am happy in my own skin the rest will fall into place.
I don’t have money for gyms, bootcamp or exercise classes so I’ve started running again. Something I’ve not done in a few years. Today I ran the furthest I’ve run yet and when I didn’t stop at my normal place to walk (interval training) and kept going and going, I just beamed. I was quite chuffed with myself. It automatically made me feel better, more confident and happier. I am still finding it hard to motivate myself the days in between, even just getting out for a walk seems like so much effort. Along with exercise I’ve taken on the healthy eating thing again. I won’t bore you but it involves, less carbohydrates, small portions, more fruit and vegetables.
My friend on twitter has the same amount of weight to lose as me so we are spurring each other on, telling each other what we eat and have exercised.
I know this will all take time but I am terribly impatient and want to see results now!
I found this on Pinterest earlier and I thought it was just what I needed to remind me good things come to those who wait and work hard.
Next on my list is to learn how to accept compliments and not brush them off as really, when you think about it, it’s insulting to the person offering them as that is their perception of you, their opinion and you should value other people’s opinions even if you don’t agree with them. So, I predict lots of smiling, nodding, awkwardness and grinning and bearing it in my future.
I think we need to be much kinder to ourselves. After all, we live for a very long time.